PEREGRINATIONS

It is One O’clock at night. And I am lying awake with a headache coming on. It appears that the excitement-less state that had me lamenting a few days back is gone! The neurons are fizzing and synapses are crackling. Plans of possible projects emerge and fade into the blackness behind closed eyes like fireflies. Who knows what will survive into the daylight tomorrow. But it is a good feeling to get your brain back. Also reminds you why it is so relaxing to have a dead brain and the peace of nothingness. But oh what is the night without those flickering fireflies!

Am I excited? It is a ubiquitous question of late. I don’t know what my answer should be. I know they are expecting me to say YES! of course. But honestly, since the day I decided to accept a definite offer, the day I sealed my fate, so to speak, ‘excitement’ has been farthest from my mind. It is as if the glossy picture that I had been staring at, aiming at all this while has suddenly, as I neared it, shed its patina of gloss and become just another matte print. There are grand plans to be made, experiments to map out, students to entice, a lab to set up. But all I can think of is which plasmids I should take, how will I ship the fish, will the Customs let my things through, when will my brain ditch me and expose me for the fool that I am. There is a ‘scientist’ to become, an office to choose, computer and instruments to be ordered. But all I can think of is the admin babus to appease, the director to please, bank and hospital staff to be battled. There is a new life waiting to begin,...

Booked the tickets, gave notice to landlord….April 15th I shall be airbound, on my way to a fates unknown! The finger hovered over the ‘purchase’ button on the airline website for a few seconds. Very conscious of the fact that this is one of those points of no return. The image of the Ice Age squirrel comes to mind…as he runs ahead, the shattering iceberg chasing at his heels. Don’t look back, keep running. Now, there are many more things to be done of course. There are clothes to sort, books to pack, boxes to ship. There are plasmids to aliquot, reagents to inventory, lines to cull. There are lists for the home, lists for the lab. Lists for the bank, lists for the shipping company. Lists for the boss and lists for the labmates. Then there are lists of lists so I can list everything on the various lists in my master list. And now I better go and organize my master list into alphabetical order…

So, turned out we toasted with Sangria and Tapas and some great company. There were best wishes and sharing of plans and bridging across cultures, of here and there. Someone asked what would I miss most and what do I look forward to the most. What would I miss most?   The luxury of quiet contemplation. After a day spent in the outside world, I can withdraw into my four-walled shell and spend my time in the most relaxing company, those neurons. Turn my thoughts over, consider what is and what not. Why and whyever not. Look deep inside and discover something new. Delve into the world and learn something old and well known. Digest, mull, ponder. And what do I look forward to? The inevitable, unrelenting human connection. The complete permeability of the home to the world. The air and light, the cold and heat, the sounds and smells that move within and without as though there were no walls separating them. The unavoidable contacts, physical and emotional. Being part and one with the n...