PEREGRINATIONS

Having a large amount of data in your hands sounds like a great end to a project in the beginning. By the end, you realize that it was really only a beginning and not such a great one at that. It is like you went to a yard sale and brought all this junk for free. At that time it sounded like a great idea. Now you have no idea what to do with it. As you begin your analysis you start getting these ‘very significant’ changes, large sets of genes are heaving up into a wave and falling back down, or dipping down into the abyss and then pulling themselves up in a joint effort! Wow! There you stand like Columbus, at the helm of Santa Maria, about to discover the new land, full of possibilities, new stories, new animals, new riches. And then suddenly there emerges from the forest a man, then another and then another with that ‘been-here-done-it’ look. They have found, killed the animals, domesticated the plants, built their huts and tamed the rivers. And you gingerly step into the land and try...

Imagine somebody has signed you up for a skydiving experience. You are standing inside the aircraft. The hatch is open. Your guide is telling you to go ahead, jump. Nothing to worry, they will take care of you. All the others have taken the plunge. There is a yawning emptiness in the pit of your stomach. Your heart is racing; your throat is dry. You are barely standing. You take a deep breath, a tremulous smile. Yes, you can do it. You take that step forward. No! You cannot do it. You shrink back. Do they think you are crazy to rely on their words? What if the parachute does not open? What if you can't breathe? What if you lose consciousness? All manner of horrors are possible. Voices are screaming around you. You are a coward! Everyone can do it, what's special about you? You shrink into yourself. You are hyperventilating; eyes darting back and forth. What if one of these monsters pushes you? You feel totally powerless. You are losing control. My daughter goes through this cr...

20100604 used to be my password. The day I started in my new role; as an independent scientist. It was a momentous day. A place I had dreamed to be and then arrived. So it felt then. That was 10 years ago! The truth was that I was quite unprepared. I, in fact, had no clue what being a scientist entailed. All the ‘un-scientist like’ things I had to do. Lots and lots of paperwork, lots of learning of administrative lingo, learning the rules and how to wiggle through them. Lots of arguing with colleagues, shouting in corridors, losing my temper (definitely not part of my routine as a pre-PI), fuming alone in my office, taking the simmering dissatisfaction and anger home. Then learning to lower the heat slowly, finding my own comfortable temperature on the settings, learning the ropes of dealing with the director, senior colleagues, equals, juniors (oh the invisible hierarchy!).  Yes, I was quite unprepared for the students who did not understand the point of controls. Students who had...