So, the resolution to write more frequently did not really materialize. There are too many other less interesting distractions. But it’s a good time to glance back before forging ahead.
I started with no thought of money (or rather funds, as scientists seem to call it), generously helped by supportive colleagues. Then joined the mainstream, wrote network projects (as the funding agency calls them) and now it was funds galore. Oh, but like Cinderella there was a deadline…when the clock strikes midnight the carriage will turn to a pumpkin and the funds will all vanish. So dutifully, we stuffed our freezers and emptied our pockets. Then you are told, go play with your existing toys, no new toys for you for six months. The fairy godmother visits but rarely. So, until then we shall do predictable research, and dream of all those ‘urgent’ experiments.
I started with one student who had accidentally strayed into my web. Now I have a team of 10 assorted students. I started with a one-gene-one-protein dogma. Then it turned out that one gene could give rise to many RNA. Some may not even code for a protein and some could be simply transcriptional runoffs and still others might have hitherto unknown functions. I learnt that you need a large diversity in the genome to create complexity.
I started with wonderful colleagues, supportive mentors and friends all around. I passed through distress and disillusionment and came out on the other side with the realization that, oh yes, we are all just humans and don’t let us pretend to be anything more. I have honed my survival skills through shouting matches with colleagues in the corridor, volcanic eruptions in small committee meetings and one-on-one heated arguments in the privacy of gypsum walled offices. I had once, long ago, complained that my life was too boring.
Today I am thinking about fireflies and yes, their luciferase. The lure of the luciferase that draws you to one, you lunge and grab and there is none there. But just there on the periphery of your vision you see another winking only to lunge and fail. I have a dozen fireflies in my field of vision now. Each a story, each a secret of nature’s that she like a small child holds in her cupped hands only to allow a tantalizing glimpse. The moment you stretch you finger out to touch it, the light blinks, the palm closes and you are not even sure if you really did see it.
It was almost four years and a month ago that I was lying back and watching fireflies blink around (see synapses alive and crackling). Today I am chasing those fireflies in the dark night and hoping I will catch one to open a tiny window into nature’s workings. But for all else that goes on the light of the fireflies do not dim and the magic of the chase keeps me here.
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